“Thank you, good woman,” said the princess, not recognizing her disguised step-mother, “but I need none of those. You see, during the day I make my own clothes!”
“But I notice, forgive me, you do lack amenities. I mean, of course, that you’re not wearing pan-i-ties!”
“Too true,” said Snow White. “My quim is quite bare. No cloth, and I shave, not a hint of black hair!”
“And what of the master? Does he not complain?” asked the crafty queen. “Surely the looks of the peasants cause pain!”
“Oh, no!” said Snow White. “Au contraire,” she cooed. “My lovers, all seven, are kept in good mood! And the peasants, by the hundreds, they’re never rude.”
Seven lovers! thought the queen. The slut! She probably begs for it up the butt! “Well, clearly, you don’t need a dildo,” she muttered, cursing, since she’d wanted to sell a poisoned vaginal probe to the princess. “Perhaps, then, some skin cream, so their pricks stay…just so!” she said, extending her fist upward in the universal sign of male erection.